Guys!! Sometimes in life you will face same situation which i've gone through.
You might be totally busy, you are possibly out of the town, and due to silly android charging problems your phone bricked(switch off ) and although you don't have any way out to contact your loved one's... Or you might deliberately ignoring her messages as you think that there you would have many pings on air if you start your internet to reply her's. There might be many important messages that would load and then you have to reply those delegates and for that you supposed to ignore to turn on your internet, what I did. Have you ever step into her shoes? Have your ever tried to think what she felt when she wanted your attention the most? She 'll feel lonely, you will never get to know how sad she will be, how deeply she was emotionally dependent on you untill you don't go through her feelings that were attached with your do's and don'ts.
Even I didn't know all these questions but when I put myself at her place, I come to know how badly i've hurt her. I realised that she had shared her whole life with me. She truly attached with me because I found her everywhere when I need her, but have I been there when she needed me ? I did this mistake which is now unrecoverable, but you! I want to warn you please don't repeat it, please don't make your loved one so sad because of you...
There must be a time in a relationship when phone rings and we thought of our loved one's if it is his/her ring or not. And that is too adorable thing for a relationship because that expectations creats a true bond. I wish this adorable thing will stay forever. When I m busy in work or some assignment I suppose to feel that I should message her after completing it and then it remained my wish only. I even know that She must keep on checking my 'last seen at' and status because I know how desperately she loves me and yes, when she found me logged in just five minutes ago. That really creates my negative impression on her. She feels scatterd with thought of why I didn't replied to her messages which was been too fast as lightning rays. I want to add that She tried excuses for you, to defend. Perhaps you was busy. Perhaps you meant to reply, but something came up. Or may be you replied but she didn't get it. But after hurting her, ruining her expectations, one day you would find that when She(loved one) willed herself not to check her phone to see if you had replied to her message. Cause It had been about many days. But deep down she knew that all of this were simply reasons, she was making up just to stick to you, she always tried to console herself that one day you would get how wrong you were.
Whom was she trying to be kid? Of course, I had seen her message. Of course, I was deliberately ignoring her messages. She hated herself to have grown so emotionally dependent on me When I'm not replying her messages, when I'm trying to ignore her even in night when there is no disturbance from any source. Don't you think she knew all about it! "What the hell—At 02:37am, m i doing?" - this question must arrived inside her. there are too many other questions which are blown up her mind. Her beautiful face get dry, her deep eyes which were holding whole world to me, turned into ocean of tears, I made her cry like anything, but still she tried to confess that I m good person. 'Two years younger than her, I was just a kid, I will get all her feelings when I get mature.' - she tried to tell herself. But she knew that was a lie too. 'He's no more a kid. He's an adult with a mind of his own.' -She think of me 'He Must be here when I need him. He must pay me attention that I need.' - Array of thought are running inside her mind. She is continuously thinking about me, she is deeply dependant on me, she have fetched her smile with me, she wants me to be with her, but when her eyes seeking for my present near herself and I failed to be there that time unfortunately I'm poking her heart, I'm not satisfying her expectations, and also I'm hurting her feelings. So please people listen me through the words, please don't do the mistake I have done.
She feels too lonely without me, without my presence infront of her eyes. The thought of being lonely led her to thinking more n more about me. She cannot put brake on her chain of thoughts, she is crying and suddenly stops. She want to break the chain, so she thought indulging herself in some work she might breaks the chain of her thoughts. She started some work with thought of busy herself in some work. She want to stop thinking about me so she started to exploring internet, staring listlessly at the computer screen in front of her, barely registering what was on, checking her phone every ten minutes to see if I had logged in or not and again... again she started crying and it continues for long... She thought indulging herself in work that could help her to stop thinking about me, But that was where she was wrong. She couldn't help checking her phone then too. She is murmuring n thinking "how Heck, in the past his replies were instant and immediate. Why in the world was he doing this? Not answering my calls, not replying to my messages." - She looks depressed n sad. A friend of her sitting next to herself at her place asked her: hey what happened! I was watching you crying from long hour, Anything bothering you?'
she took long breath and she stopped crying. Because she got confused that what she would tell her about. What the hell she would tell her friend about me. So she answers her friend with fake smile nothing happened, I'm all right. But she know that her friend will catch her lies. And defiantly her friend has caught her lie. So for sake of refreshments for Her, her friend asked her to have coffee. And she will accept it because she want to divert her mind from the array of thought running inside her mind. They took walk to the coffee shop and ordered "Italian Espresso." -my favorite.
Then after few minutes of silence, while having first ship of coffee she speaks that 'I really hate him like I love him' - to her friend.
'Who Vishal!' - her friend
'Yeah he is! I hate him because from last few many days he didn't send me a single messege, and more on he is not receiving my phone calls too. I really hate when he do not understand how desperately I need him to tlk to me.' - said she in aggression.
'Don't cry I'm sorry' - her friend.
They finished their coffee and walked back to their cubicle in amiable silence.
Just as she sat down in her chair, her phone vibrated. Her heart thudded as she unlocked her phone and stared at the screen. Finally! It was me. I messaged her. she feels good because after too many days I contact her, but at same instance of time she feels scattered because after hurting her these much I m just saying her "hello". Without any justification, Any excuses, Any arguments, just simply "Hello". I have done the bravest thing to say "hello" because I know how she angry will be, how she would react, how she had felt. When she opened it and read it, she didn't know that was I joking or what? Because it's been too many days I haven't reply her, I didn't even try to contact her..and still I m saying just a "hello".
'Kaha ho tum?' - she asked me with aggression
'Out of town tha and Abhi louta hu ghar' - I replied
'At least ek phone Kar sakte the, phone nai to ek msg drop Kar diya hota'- she said
'Do you know what, how bad i m feeling with watching your reply and how good it is to have your reply after long time' - she continuous
'I know how bad you are feeling but sorry' - I replied.
And chat continues which endup on serious turn. I have handled it but please don't take your rollercoaster ride to this turn of your life. Enjoy ups and downs in a relationship track but don't let your downs be the dell you wouldn't get up from.
With the reason that i haven't reply....I must say don't behave too busy in front of them who really needs you. Please prior sometime for them. All this time when you found her self to cry You must allow her your shoulders and ask her to promise you to cry for one last time. After that make sure that you would get her smile everytime whether she is in good mood or not in mood, but you would never get her tears back...
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©vanza vishal
Seriously, i must say you have framed girls emotions very well.
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